When Confucius became a magistrate the town he lived became very peaceful and crime reduced as everyone followed the good example he provided. Many felt it was because of him. He often spoke of being good, doing good, etc. He always wanted people to be better people and continuously exhorted this virtue.

My father has been an inspiration to me and many other people too. I am sure that includes my siblings and many of his past colleagues. Today, he would have received numerous calls and sometimes gifts, as it is his birthday. If he were still alive, he would be 99 years old today.

He was a man of a few words. But if he speaks, we would listen intently. I believe that because he would always listen to others, we would listen to him. He was a strong advocate of the Rotary movement, having joined them in the 1960s. Even before learning of their Four Way Test, he was already practising them in some form as he had believed in honouring the TRUTH. The Four Way Test was written by Herbert Taylor a Chicago Rotarian in 1932 for his bankrupt Club Aluminium Company. Putting the Test into practice, the company pulled out of the red in five (5) years.

My father was born on 14 January 1912 in Sayong, Kuala Kangsar, a small village along the Sungei Perak. He would have been 99 years old today. He was one of four siblings borne by Abdul Rais and Saodah. He was brought up by his grand parents as both parents passed away when he was very young.

He completed his religious education before entering a Malay medium school. Upon completing that he studied at the Clifford School in Kuala Kangsar where he became the school’s head-boy.

He joined the Malayan Administration Service in July 1932. He served in Selangor, Perak, Negri Sembilan and Perlis). During the Japanese Occupation, he worked as a magistrate. He was thought to be a strong supporter of the British colonialists and was imprisoned for a week by the Japanese. He was kept in isolation and in total darkness. He survived by reciting the al Quran over and over. For this he thanked the fact that he had completed his religious education.

I wanted to name this piece, "A father's expectation" but a reader may have a different perspective of the contents. This essay is about his expectation, but in this case, it is a very specific one.

What advantage does a first born child have over the others? Is it a privilege to be a first born? The second child would always think so. He or she would often be bullied into doing things the first child refuses to do.

I am not a first born and would not know what goes on in their minds. We have had numerous successful first borns, the less successful ones and those in between. Whatever it is, every mind is different. There are things that are inherited. These things are so unusual as even without being taught, the child does certain things exactly like their father or grandfather who had already passed away.

(This short note was written a few days after my beloved sister Noor Aziah left us. She had passed away with massive cranial haermorrhage on 11 May 2010. So we are now left with nine siblings.)

You never frowned at me, though your head may ache. You’d always smile. You often take me to be your little brother, and I will always be your li’l brother. This last 3 weeks or so, we have SMSed one another often but all I ever tell you is I am doing my morning brisk walk and how about you. Have you started the minimum 5-minute walk? A minimum amount the doctor had ordered. You’d say you had a lot of pain. Sometimes I’d ask you for more information, sometimes I’d forget it. Maybe I should have asked if you had taken your medication, instead of whether you’ve taken your 5-minute walk.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Dateline: 14 November 2010
0740 hours

Mother, if you had been born 21 years ago we would be celebrating your personal freedom whence you would be given the symbolic key to the house. But alas, you left us 21 years ago. Instead of singing with joy and celebrating each moment, how do we remember you by?

Though it only seems like yesterday, your last smile is only a memory. All we have are memories. Memories which will make us smile, or make us cry, because no matter how good they are, we do not have your presence.

A mother’s love is instinctive, unconditional and forever.

How today’s mother adds up to this is sometimes a big question often left unanswered as a modern mother has gone through a completely different paradigm in life to sometimes forget the virtues their own mother instilled in them.

Again, how do we want to remember you by? How do you want us to remember you by?